How to gain control of your free time | Laura Vanderkam | TED

When people discover an interest in time management, they often assume experts are always punctual and possess numerous tips for saving small amounts of time. However, the premise of finding an extra hour by shaving minutes off daily activities is questioned. Some popular ideas include optimizing errands for right-hand turns, being extremely judicious with microwave usage, or DVRing shows to fast-forward through commercials. While these methods can save time, the speaker suggests a different approach: we don't build the lives we want by saving time; we build the lives we want, and then time saves itself.

We don't build the lives we want by saving time. We build the lives we want, and then time saves itself.

This perspective shifts the focus from accumulating small time savings to fundamentally structuring life around priorities. The idea is that by first defining and committing to what truly matters, the necessary time will naturally become available, rather than trying to find spare moments for neglected priorities.

A study involving time diaries from 1,001 days of extremely busy women revealed that time is highly elastic. These women juggled demanding jobs, businesses, children, and community commitments. When a water heater broke, flooding a basement and requiring seven hours of attention, the woman found the time despite her packed schedule. This situation illustrates that time will stretch to accommodate what we choose to put into it, especially when faced with unexpected emergencies.

This elasticity means we cannot create more time, but the existing time can be molded. The key is treating our priorities with the same level of urgency as that broken water heater. A woman running a business with 12 employees and six children famously stated, 'Everything I do, every minute I spend, is my choice.' This mindset reframes the common excuse, 'I don't have time,' into a more accurate statement: 'It's not a priority.'

Everything I do, every minute I spend, is my choice. 'I don't have time,' often means 'It's not a priority.'

To effectively treat priorities as urgent, we must first clearly define them. Two strategies are presented for this forward-thinking approach. The first involves simulating a professional performance review at the end of the upcoming year. Ask yourself: what three to five things did you accomplish that made this year absolutely amazing professionally? Writing this review now helps solidify career goals.

The second strategy is similar but for personal life: pretend it's the end of next year and write your family holiday letter. What three to five things did you do that made the year amazing for you and your loved ones? This exercise clarifies personal achievements and meaningful experiences you wish to have.

Once priorities are identified, they need to be broken down into manageable steps. For instance, if writing a family history is a goal, the steps might include reading other family histories for style, planning interview questions, and scheduling interviews with relatives. Similarly, training for a 5K involves signing up for a race, creating a training plan, and finding appropriate gear.

The crucial step is to treat these priorities as the equivalent of a broken water heater by scheduling them into your week first. This proactive approach requires thinking through your week before it begins. Friday afternoons are suggested as an ideal time for this planning due to their 'low opportunity cost,' meaning people are generally more open to planning future priorities then.

During this planning session, create a simple three-category priority list: career, relationships, and self, aiming for two to three items in each. Then, review the entire upcoming week and identify specific slots where these priorities can be scheduled, ensuring they are addressed before less important tasks consume the available time.

While acknowledging that some lives are objectively harder than others, the speaker emphasizes that the numbers surrounding available time are empowering. There are 168 hours in a week. Even accounting for a full-time job (40 hours) and eight hours of sleep per night (56 hours), this leaves 72 hours for other activities. This is a significant amount of time.

Research indicates that individuals often overestimate their work hours. A study comparing estimated work weeks with time diaries found that people claiming 75-plus-hour work weeks were off by approximately 25 hours. This suggests that most people have more available time than they realize, even when working more than full-time hours.

The key takeaway is that within the 168 hours of a week, there is sufficient time for what matters most, whether it's spending more time with children, studying, exercising, or volunteering. Small moments, often filled with activities like checking email or puttering, can be repurposed for greater fulfillment and joy.

The central message is that time is ultimately a choice. Even when feeling busy, there is always time available for activities that align with our values and priorities. By focusing on what truly matters, individuals can intentionally construct the lives they desire within the 168 hours they are given each week. This requires a conscious decision to prioritize important activities over less meaningful ones.